Your Body Speaks

That's the objective of the 5th speech project I completed last week during the 821st Toastmasters meeting. Had to talk using my body - you know, gestures, eye contact, pacing and all. It took me awhile to come up with that speech as I'm a bit of a shy type. Well, somehow I did manage to slacken off a little bit. And just proud of myself for being able to overcome nervousness on stage. I think I did fairly well when it comes to the delivery of the speech. Thanks to Dr. Matt McGarrity of University of Washington for the tips on the conversational way of public speaking, my delivery was more natural; though it was prepared in advance.

Anyhow, here's my speech. Thanks to the old Bengali lady, I came up with an informative manuscript.

A Subtle Talk

On my work to work this morning, I saw a big Facebook thumbs up sign along Khurais Road. Then, I remember something and I thought of sharing this with you...

When you hold up your index finger, pinkie and thumb like this (sign), the entire universe knows that you mean to say I Love You. Now, if you hold down the thumb with the middle and ring fingers, half of the world will rock and the other half will go crazy. This is the sign of the horns. In US, we know this sign is associated with the rock stars. But in Mediterranean countries, like Egypt, Lebanon, Syria or Morocco, this is used to tell a man that his wife is cheating on him. 

Good evening, fellow Toastmasters and guest.

Growing up in a multi-national and multi-cultural environment is very fascinating. You meet a lot of people from different places. You get acquainted with different norms and traditions. Here in Saudi Arabia, the people around us give us a glimpse of the different parts of the world. Americans, Europeans, Middle-Eastern, Africans, Asians – we see them everywhere and yes, communicating is not easy. We always settle with the customary ‘Assalamu Alaikum’ greeting. However, communication does not always have to go with words. Most of the time, we speak without saying a word; about 80% of what we communicate is non-verbal. Smirking, winking or pouting could give a lot of meanings. Body language could give a different implication to people even when real intentions are pure. Just like how you look at me now while I speak in front.

One time there was nothing much to do in the office; I had the chance to pore over one of the cleaners, an old Bengali woman. I watched how she talked to her colleagues, her movements and facial expressions. After awhile, I approached her and we had a short chat.

Fellow Toastmasters, think about the last time you talked to a Bengali. Did you ever notice that when you speak to them, they move their chin forward? How about the frequent tilting of their heads sideways? To others, such mannerism is a bit annoying and it appears to like they don’t care about what we’re saying; but for your information they actually do it as courtesy or good manners. They actually use their chins to point at something and they tilt their heads to one side to agree with someone.

The way people listen, look, move and react affects how others see them. What we say verbally and what we act with our body are totally two different languages. The listener or the viewers have to choose whether to believe your verbal or non-verbal message; and usually, we choose the non-verbal because it’s more natural. It is an instinctive language that shows our true feelings and intentions.

People from different origins have different customs that imply different meanings to other nationalities.

Looking back at the past, we, Filipinos, being occupied by Americans for nearly a decade, have already been accustomed to their culture. We have adapted a lot. One of the most familiar hand signals of the Americans is the thumbs-up sign. Though this means “good going”, “okay”, “good job”, other nationalities like Iranians, Africans or Bengalis have a different interpretation. For them, it expresses sexual connotation or, to bluntly say, the upraised middle finger. Now I wonder if that’s one of the reasons why Facebook is not allowed in certain countries.

Anyhow, despite the struggle in talking to the old Bengali woman, with our basic English and Arabic skills, we managed to understand each other.

You see, we are faced with this challenge every day especially when we deal with other nationalities. Behavior and gestures are interpreted differently. Communication barrier has become ordinary. Knowing about the norms and traditions of our foreign brothers and sisters makes us appreciate their ways and somehow, gives us confidence as it creates a connection with them.

So, while we continuously live and work here in Saudi Arabia, in every tick of the clock, our ability to communicate effectively and appropriately with people of other cultures is challenged. It becomes more and more important to improve the sensitivity and understanding for the values, views, and ways of living and thinking of others. As the American best-seller book author Morgan Scott-Peck said, “Share our similarities and celebrate our differences.”